Koala's Thinking Corner

Halfway There eh...

2008-06-27T16:29:00.002+08:00

So as exams end, we close half the chapter of our lives this year. As we await the coming of our results, I shall entertain you people for a minute or so.

I was having a little chat with my friends last night and we were discussing several interesting topics while downing rum and coke (sounds like we're having an intellectual discussion eh? Seriously we are. We're serious people on alcohol.) One of the things I remembered last night was how Adelaide seemed like a village compared to Melbourne. That's not true guys. I mean besides having more trees, less concrete, buildings as high as two-storeys and buses for public transport Adelaide is a full fledged city. We have 5 minute traffic jams here with cars moving as "slow" as 40 km/hr every afternoon. People disappear from the city after 5 pm and the night life seems well.....pretty much nearly nothing. But that aside, we have cool people here in Adelaide like nigga-like Aboriginals who dresses like 50 cents. For some reason, they always seemed stoned and very often found at the back of public buses. It's strange how they could afford to be stoned anywhere and at any time of the day. Apparently they receive pension from the government. Hmmm, I wonder where all the money went. Or they probably have their own version of weed obtained from exotic roots of ancient magical trees. That explains why they are always seen chewing stuff.

Stoned, no mistake about it...Think about the kid...

Talking about stoned Aboriginals, I was approached by one 2 days back. There I was eating my fried rice with 2 of my buddies when this random Aboriginal who reeked of alcohol appeared out of no where, begging us for money. We were all reluctant to give some since the money would be better off spent on daily necessities like condoms so my friend decided to offer her some food instead since we can't finish them anyway. That mother fucking daughter-of-a-bitch declined our act of kindness and still insisted on us giving her money instead. Man that's one spoilt beggar. I don't care how handsome you claimed I am I'm still not flattered to give you any cash. Come to think of it, have you people been approached by beggars before who has a fixed rate that you have to donate? Take for instance a cancer society or child care representative who says that you MUST donate at least 5 bucks (Usually done by selling random useless stuff). I always knew they are frauds. If they are really desperate for money, what's with the fixed rate? Think about it eh.

Besides talking about the city, I have an interesting Aboriginal Story to share with all of you. All of you know what's ULURU right?

Uluru

Apparently according to Aboriginals, that rock is poop left by the magical rainbow snake. I guess the magical rainbow snake was having some sort of constipation because that's one giant poop. I'm not making this up. Go search that story online if you don't believe me.

On a side note, apparently Adelaideans walk really slow. Don't blame it on us. Time seems to be on a stand still over here alright. I have to admit I'm walking a little slow too. Once in Melbourne, when I was about to board the train with Ken, Panda and Dandy when we all missed the train thanks to me. I was busy figuring out the ticket machine when the train was about to leave in 2 minutes. Ken was pretty pissed then haha. Sorry Ken, I'll buy you lunch when I see you again k. Seems like I'm infected with the Adelaide's Slow Paced Life disease.

There were a few more stuff discussed but they're pretty fuzzy in my head right now. I'll probably recall them later and post a follow up on this post if I feel like it. Until then, happy holidays.

International Night & Battle of the Bands 08

2008-05-28T14:43:00.007+08:00

Seems like I'm doing a monthly blog post here. The truth is I'm a really lazy writer. I don't really like penning down thoughts and most of the time my thoughts seemed to consist of nonsense all together. Anyway I'm back for another review on Lincoln's 2 best events, International Night and Battle of the Bands.

International Night is the time when all international students rejoice and party at the dining hall while being entertained by their fellow musically inclined friends. Now this a very overdue post since International Night happened on the 17th of May but I'll still write about it anyway. So at 7 pm, the curtains come down and the night begins. The weird thing about this year's international night is the dominating indian dances which for the first time managed to beat the number of jap/chinese events (and this probably because of the large number of Indians in college this year. I feel like a minority). So this year's International Night would also be known as the Curries Night 08. There were a few notable events but I volunteered as a w aiter this time so I missed out on a few events and food. Oh another change in this year's international night is the food because for the first time in many years (according to seniors), the kitchen handled the food preparation and considering how tasty and orgasmic Lincoln pasta is, I don't have my hopes very high.

So aside from the large number of Indian dances, there were a few vi deos and 2 bands which performed that night. I was in both the bands which was named Koala and the Sunshine Band and Kwok's Yok Shi Lam Fung(very hot in canto) Band. I played Crumbs by Disagree in my band and for the Kwok's band I was lead guitar for Link, a jap song. Personally I screwed up Crumbs pretty much with misplucks and really bad timing. So overall, it was a bad performance and I would really like to apologize to both Johnny and Madeline for their time up on stage.

Johnny on vocals and rhythm, Koala on Lead and Madeline on drums

Kwok's band- Lynn on violin, Ryo on piano, Koala on Lead, Madeline on Drums, Johnny on Bass and Kwok on Vocals

For the jap song, it went pretty well except for a short period of time when the guitar amp screwed up, producing some choking sound. Besides that the solo was pretty good and I pretty much hit the right notes. Well I'm not much of a musician but at least I tried and this being my second time on stage gave me a very valuable experience. There's much more room for improvement and I look forward to performing more when I have the chance.

I also starred in one of the videos produced by Sean Ashari and I have to say, he has talent for comedy scripts. The video was pretty darn good and enjoyed by everybody so I'm not going to talk much about it but instead let you guys judge for yourself. Click away:

Well that was pretty much International Night and the stuff that I've done. Next comes battle of the band which occured on the 24th of May. Tickets costs 15 bucks and I have to say it was pretty worth it since it also comes with 2 free schooners. There were 5 bands so minus the 2 schooners, we paid around 2 bucks for each band to perform. I watched 4 bands performed including Lincoln's band and they did rocked the night. The first 2 bands had so much energy that they had me jumping around especially 'When my heart stops beating' by plus 44 was played. Plus the vocals for the first band had a cape. Beat that superman.

Lincoln band was pretty good and the 4 songs played by them was The Middle by Jimmy Eat World, Learn To Fly by Foo Fighters, Torn by Natalie Imbruglie(now this song really stands out because it's a pop song) and Sweet Child O Mine by Guns and Roses. The song choices made it seem like Lincoln was heading towards the classic rock genre. Among the 4 numbers, Sweet Child O Mine was my personal favourite and the lead guitarist did a great job on his solos. In fact I felt that all 4 songs played was pretty authentic, staying close to the original song (Well done Lincoln Band). After Lincoln's band was Flinders which won Battle of The Bands (Lincoln came second) and although they came first, I felt that they don't really deserved it considering how much time they wasted getting the crowd going. I don't really give a shit about communicating with the crowd. All I want is good music and they wasted too much time during their song intervals, feeding my brain with crap and thus making me lazy to jump around anymore.

With exams looming forward I guess there isn't much time for fun anymore in the coming weeks. I wish everyone all the best for their exams especially the A-lvls people who are sitting for them at this moment. Until next month, or earlier hopefully, see you folks.

PS: I'll be doing a review on my Melbourne trip next. Sorry for it's long overdue post.

Woah, Kinky!

2008-05-01T18:06:00.002+08:00

Oh here's a little thought that's been up in my mind for quite some time. I bet most of you know what SM is right, so I'll just jump right to the point. For those who love SM, please just land yourself in prison for the ultimate BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism quoted from wikipedia)-experience.

I mean they have free cuffs for you, They have a bad ass whip soaked in acid. Oh yeah who says that the G-spot is in your ass, it's on your ass's surface baby!

The warden says it's whippy time!

If you enjoy it rough, I bet those gay boys are ready to ride you all the way Texas style. Even when you're asleep, you might wake up the next day with a very sore ass or maybe even nipples and your prison mate naked lying next to you. It's like suspense, where every newcomer would be asking themselves "Will I get butt raped tonight?". On a bright side gay-sex or anal helps with constipation. Oh and they don't do it safe either at prisons. Condoms are just too expensive and the condom dispensers are usually situated outside the cells. SO if your partner were to bleed in your ass due to the immense friction from rubbing 2 rough surfaces (since there's no lubricant either) together for a long period of time, you might get HIV. I guess that's the only risk you'll be taking though seeking this thrill.

Looks pretty homey

So why take it to the bedroom, get it all dirty and waste loads of money on unnecessary kinky toys when you can get them all for free at.......your local prison. Thank you for reading and if you are underage, you've been a bad kid coming to this site. I'm going to tell your mom.

Of Nipple Crippler and Cupping Cocks

2008-03-21T17:07:00.006+08:00

Guess what folks? The koala's back for a new blog post. I know I have been neglecting my blog for a while now but it's because of my transition from college to university life. Now that I've settled down I hope that I'll blog more frequent for both mine and your entertainment.

What I want to say in this post is something everybody see very often in school. Yes, it's the nipple crippler and the cock cupper. If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, all I can say is you haven't been to school much. Nipple crippler is basically the twisting of nipples which would result in the victim having really sore and bruised nipple for a week or two if done correctly. It's hard to perfect this technique though as nipples cover a very small area of your breast and unless you have saggy fat breast, it's actually very hard to hit the nipple in your first try unless you know your victim really well or the victim doesn't mind and didn't retaliate.

I think that guy wet his pants.

Man even apes do it.

The cock cupper involves bending your fingers in the shape of a cup and slamming it into another guy's crotch. If you were to hit the right spot, it would result in the victim giving out a really loud moan or scream followed by an ejaculation. Best done when the guy's hard. Be warned though as frequent cock cuppers can actually cause a guy to lose his Father's day and yes, you do get sued for it.

Now a question that I have in mind is, why don't girls play such games. I mean you don't see girls going around nipple grippling her friends do you? I'm just curious what girls play during their high school life and if you're a female reader, do tell me as I'm sure all the male readers are curious too. Do you play boob smasher? Or maybe Unhook Bra Domination? I don't know you girls tell me. I guess I've talked too much cock for now. I have stuff that I have to be doing and so until next time, give me feedback girls and I'll write the second part of this post.

PS: How are you guys enjoying your university life? Drop a comment at my chatbox so that A-levels and Pre-U people know what they're going to expect. The only thing I can say is they don't teach much at lectures and self-study is pretty much a must if you want to pass. See you people next time!

Koala's Quotes Of 2008

2008-01-12T14:12:00.000+08:00

The year 2008 is still new to all of us that each time we talk about the year, we assumed that it's still 2007. I've been told off a few times now and many agreed that we won't be able to accept that it's already year 2008 until something exciting like the coming Chinese Year has passed. Well until that day has come why not enjoy some of Koala's home made quotes for the year 2008!

Quote 1: Why strip naked alone when you can earn big bucks stripping in front of the public.
Translation: We must jump at every open opportunity or we'll regret it later.

Quote 2: Why buy a vibrator when you have a banana?
Translation: We must not waste money on luxury but instead be thrifty and make your own luxury.

Quote 3: You aren't famous until you are found on a porn website.
Translation: You aren't that famous, until the world knows you.

Quote 4: Why go for one chick, when you can have many many more!
Translation: Everybody loves a large array of choices .

Quote 5: Push your limits to more than one orgasm.
Translation: One must push their limits beyond their expectations.

Quote 6: You can cheat on your lovers, as long as they don't find out!
Translation: What people don't know can't hurt them.

Quote 7: Why read this blog when you can do something more productive?
Translation: You have too much free time. Till next time ladies and gentleman, have a great break!

2008- Year of the Koala

2008-01-02T13:43:00.000+08:00

I hope so haha! I find it unfair how the 12 zodiac animals does not include the koala. Oh yea, because they would be sure to win with their agility and overwhelming intelligence. You see koalas sleep because they don't want any wasted movements, making them very efficient creatures. Alright here are my new year's resolution:

1. Stop a rape.

2. Stop pornography.

3. Be a clean boy.

4. Rape rapists.

5. Streaking in KL (wanna join anybody?)

6. Molest Micheal Jackson.

7. Smuggle koalas into Malaysia.

And a few more if I have the time to think. So happy new year to all and don't go Adelaide to do your foundation when you can always do it in Taylors haha!

Koala In Sydney

2007-12-12T14:53:00.000+08:00

Well it has been a while isn't it? After my exams I was thinking of a perfect place to chill and I thought, why not the big city Sydney? So off I flew together with my uncle johnny and aunty nicole on the 5th of December. You all must be thinking 'wah koala so rich can go Sydney wei' but before you all do any thinking, my flight ticket is only 89 bucks (one way) and I would be staying in my uncle's house all the time so not some fancy 5-star hotel shit.

I stayed there for a whooping 6 days and I must say, it was quite a good vacation. The city is big compared to small fry Adelaide and some of its suburb is already as big as Adelaide city. The main transport there is train and from the train station you could either take the bus or walk to your destination. My uncle's house is located at Turramara (pronounced Tharamara- bloody hard to pronounce names is what Sydney is famous for) and it's a good 40 minutes (30 minutes by train to the Townshall station)drive from the city. Upon arrivin g Sydney, my uncle was kind enough to give Uncle Johnny and me to his gigantic crib (aunty nicole stayed with her parents in a hotel) and due to massive traffic jam, it was an hour and a half drive to his place. By the way my uncle has this big dog (a lassie dog) which I very much fear because of the way it kept looking at my sausage and as much as I know how much it would like to yank it off it wouldn't be funny if my manhood ended then.

We put our bags down and off we went to visit the city. On th e first day, we met up with aunty nicole and her parents (plus brother john) for lunch at BBQ king. Food wasn't that fantastic but more the less edible (they serve hong kong style food). Being new to Sydney, we didn't know where the good places are so we used our very reliable city map and visited south of the city. There was this giant mall which looked very much alike Sungai Wang called Market City filled with shops with funny chinese names. It was there when I realize the greatest flaw in the Transformers movie- where the hell are the robot's genitals? Behold the true picture of Megatron, unleashing his mightiest weapon ever.

Fear me Optimus Prime!

There is IGA there too which sold chinese products and it was very much asian-like. There I saw some of the most dodgy brand ever. Apparently Planta replaced their model with a fat malay boy to please some people.

The New Age Planta

We ended our first day with dinner at aunty nicole's place where her mom cooked up a great dinner and off we went home riding the train.

Fiddy cent's home

On the second day, johnny's old school buddies- Duck and Watermelon took us on a tour around the city.

The Harbour Bridge

We went to the Rocks where we stopped for a great lunch at Pancakes on the Rocks (You must try the Beef and Pork ribs. The pancakes are also not too bad but pancakes are pancakes, can't really change the taste). After lunch, we then visited Circular Quay (pronounced circular key) and upon seeing the sea, I felt my bladder vibrating. SO folks if you have to go, you have to go.

They caught me at a bad time

The Opera House

Once I relieve myself, we then walked to the Opera House because the water taxi cost too much and you would have to dress in purple to ride them.

The Purple Groove

The Opera House well.... is an Opera House. Nothing much to describe there.

The Opera House (From left: Aunty Nicole, Uncle Johnny, Watermelon, Duck)

Wanna peek? Only 1 dollar

For dinner we went to Ramen Kan at China Town (Dixon Street) which serve pretty good japanese cuisine at a reasonable price (say below 10 bucks). After eating we realized it was way past the time for the last train and this forced me and uncle johnny to overnight at nicole's place.

The next morning, nicole and family has to drive to Canberra, leaving uncle johnny and me in the Sydney. Feeling bored, we visited the Aquarium and Wildlife Park at Darling Harbour and only paid 18 bucks for both the ticket since we had a buy one get one free voucher given by my aunty.

Johnny and me at the Darling Harbour

The Aquarium was pretty good and has a diverse range of fishes. Each time I see the fishes I always wonder if they are edible especially those big ass ones. Oh and I also learned how sea urchins defecate by asking a lady at the touch pool. The Wildlife Park was apparently pretty new and has only a few kinds of animals (more to those native animals like koalas, kangaroos, possum). Over there I learned how snakes mated and that you would have to probe their private parts to find their genitals. Man I can't believe I learned so much in one day. I wanted to tickle the koalas' ass but you would have to pay to touch them. The day ended with uncle bringing us to fine dining at Olio (it was at North Sydney I think) and a movie- The Hills Have Eyes 2 ( it's about ugly guys raping pretty girls) at home.

On Saturday, uncle brought us to Manly beach (initially the plan was Blue Mountain but we felt it was sort of like an old man's trip and there wouldn't be babes up there). It was a pretty good beach with pretty babes running left and right and muscular man with tight trunks (Uncle said Bondi was good too but we didn't have time to visit both). It was pretty difficult for me to babe watch since I didn't have sunnies and worse still I had to squint due to the sun shinning right in my face, making me look like a pervert which I know most of you know I'm not.

At Manly

Me and my uncle at Manly

Climbing Mountains

Nothing much happened after the beach trip I guess if my memory serves me well because Big Man Foo arrived in Sydney too late (we were supposed to have dinner with him).

Sunday was pretty chilling since we decided to stay in and just well, chill. Uncle brought us to some Malaysian restaurant for lunch which we planned to treat him but failed miserably because he was just too quick. In the afternoon we went to DFO where we bought a few cheap clothes (Fucuk or FCUK t-shirt for only 10 bucks etc). DFO or Direct Factory Outlet is according to Johnny a place where you can get cheap clothes because the fashion arrives a little late (behind by one fashion). At night uncle and aunty had to attend some dinner so we were left at home to chill. We watched a movie (The Mimic- some giant bug show) and ate pizza for dinner.

My kind of desert

On Monday Johnny wanted to go back to Pancakes on the Rocks to savour the ribs once more which we did and did a little bit more shopping at George Street. We also bought Krispy Kreme back for my uncle and his family and wine (red wine and port) as a token of gratitude. We flew back the next day and thus marked the end of our Sydney Trip.

Krispy Kreme on George Street near Wynerd Station

PS. Thanks uncle and aunty for the great time. On a side note, I have to say Sydney has a lot of BAR (Bastards on Road) and rude China Apeks so those of you who want to visit Sydney, keep this in mind and don't mind those bitches. This is the Koala wishing you all a very good holiday and remember to play safe- use Durex.

The 5 Most Difficult Questions

2007-11-20T10:06:00.000+08:00

Ok i felt guilty not posting for the whole month so I'm going to post at least once today (and partly due to you guys complaining about the yellow banana). Today's intelligent topic on this highly educational site is 'The 5 Most Difficult Questions' I have ever encountered in my life and my answers to them. Feel free to tell me otherwise ok?

1. If there is Heaven and Hell, which do you prefer to go to after your demise?

Haha a classic question by most Christians (please don't get offended, it's my view based on experience) by which a 'yes' answer would come to 'then accept our Lord for He is the gateway to heaven'. If you ask me, I'll want to know if God is a sexy person since I would want to be in a place full of sexy people after I die. You don't want to stay in a place full of good people and nerds who contributed significantly to our society right? Well except for Newton since he has giant apples. If God ain't sexy then I prefer the latter since I'm sure there's weed in Hell. Ahhhh weed and prostitutes...... my heaven.

2. Do all guys/ girls watch porn?

Porn? yummmm....

3. Why do we always procrastinate before my exams?

Because there's porn on the internet. Simple.

4. Why isn't there a female rapist?

Ah that's where you're wrong. There are female rapist but their victims all got raped so hard they vaporised. And yes you do vaporise due to the immense pressure exerted on you until Newton's Third Law is unable to work.

5. Is there any more difficult question?

You ask me and I'll try to answer them as intellectual as possible.

All right that's it people. I'll be sitting for my exams in 2 days time. All the best to those who have and haven't done their exams.

Vibrator Substitutes

2007-10-30T12:12:00.000+08:00

There's one question bothering me all the time. Why do girl's need to buy vibrators? I mean I'm sure they cost a lot for a cylindrical toy which vibrates. There's so many substitutes out there which you can use at a cheaper price. Oh yea, this is a heavily sexual-related content. Small kids and easily disgusted people please click the back button now. Thank you.

Koala's Choice of Substitutions:

1. Banana- It has the shape. A little soft though. Enough said.

2. Cucumber- It's long for those looking for deep penetration action. SImply a classic and most easily available.

3. Sea Cucumber- Same like the cucumber but lubricated. Reduce infections.

4. Durian- Sure to give multiple orgasm! The spikes just hits the spot! Might promote early menstruation though.

5. Handphone- It vibrates. Keep the phone on silent if you're shy. Might be a little short but a good substitute if desperate.

6. Test tube- Apparently it has been tried and it broke while uhmmm..... SO yea try at your own risk.

There are probably a few more but I'm not that creative. More suggestions welcomed (Make a comment and I'll add it to the list). Have fun people!! Happy Swot-Vac!

PS: www.mrgaykoala.blogspot.com is not responsible to any injuries related to the usage of the vibrator substitutes. Please use them at your own risk and I pray that you will all play safe.

Music Night

2007-10-14T20:30:00.000+08:00

On the 13th of October, I performed during Music Night. It ain't another rap fellas. It's an indo song called 'menghapus jejakmu' by Peter Pan and a jap song called 'Hotarubi' by Ryhtem. I was the playing the rhythm (guitar) for Hotarubi with Elaine, Khai Wan and Madeline while for the Menghapus Jejakmu, I was on bass and background vocal with 'Tank & The Tankies' (Johnny-lead guitar, Sng- ryhtem, Mag-drums, Sing Yew- Vocal).

This was the first time I actually played my guitar on stage so there was a couple of mistake here and there. I'll upload the video on the Music Night once it's released. SO until then don't expect any updates. Oh yeah sorry panda for not playing the tag game. I'm new to blogging so I don't know how to do it. Seriously.

On another note, I just want to say that I'm proud of Malaysia for being able to launch our very own astronaut up to space. Although it's considered a waste of tax payer's money by some people, it was all for the sake of accomplishing the ultimate Malaysian Dream- making teh tarik and playing congkak+ sepak takraw in space( anti-gravity fun). See people, as long as you believe from the bottom of your heart, not your ass you can make your dream come true! Hell yea Malaysia Boleh!! However I kinda feel sad for that guy since he's going to space all alone. They should send a female up there too! Then they can have some fun. If female cannot male also can- as long as there's a hole anything is possible right. HAH male also don't want to send!!?? Kla send animal (preferably those closer to humans like HINT- a monkey) also can right. Come on people. Imagine how lonely he'll be up there. Jerking off won't be easy with that heavy astronaut suit k. At least with a partner it's worth to go through the hassle of taking out that heavy suit.

PS. Lack of updates due to lots of things in my hands. That's not what I mean you dirty people! Sheesh.

When a Guy Gets 2 Soft Toys

2007-09-25T19:07:00.000+08:00

What happens when a guy gets 2 soft toys? Well my good friend Bill went to the Adelaide Show (If you don't know what the Adelaide Show is, please read the previous post first) and won himself 2 soft toys from the ball throwing game. So my question is what do you do with them? Do you decorate your manly room? Have happy time with it?? Well that's not what my friend Bill decided to do. I'll upload pictures that he took featuring the soft toys. This is one of the post where I let your imagination run wild and guess what the following images are supposed to be. Like what they all say, let the pictures do the talking!

Warning: The following images is only intended for mature audiences and due my lack of photoshop experience, I'm unable to censor them. If you experience any trauma from viewing them, www.mrgaykoala.blogspot.com is not responsible. View them at your own risk and kids, don't ask your mom and dad what the images are.

These soft toys are somehow meant for these kind of pictures.

PS: Thanks Bill for the pics. You're a genius photographer and choreographer for these kind of pics!

The Royal Adelaide Show

2007-09-23T17:38:00.000+08:00

On the 15th of September, I went to the Royal Adelaide Show. It was the last day for the show (it lasted for a week I think) and despite people saying how boring it was, I still went. Why? Obviously to procrastinate from work. So anyway the Royal Adelaide Show is actually supposed to be an event for farmers to show off their agricultural products. You must be thinking- ai yah see farmers show off their fat cows and plants oso nice meh?- but besides the agricultural products there are also rides, food stalls and show bags to be bought. Think of it more like a huge carnival with ferris wheel, hot dogs and cotton candy (plus the barnyard animals).

OMG! I'm so excited. I can't wait to get in!

Among all the events, I was really hoping to catch the pig race held that day so that I can earn extra money from betting on the fastest pig (like Sports Toto). Sadly it was held early in the morning and knowing me it was an impossible feat. When I reached the Showground (where the Adelaide Show was held) at 2.oo pm, painful memories started to haunt me since it was the same place where I had my mid year exam. Putting aside the memories, I paid 12 to enter and it was then when I realized that I'm out of cash. A piece of advice: Make sure you bring enough cash because there is a freaking long line at the atm machine! After getting some cash, my friends persuaded me to get my face painted like a koala but due to the long line of children at the stall, we gave up.

So what did I do there for a good 7 hours? I rode 2 rides (Prison Break and some Spinning Stuff) and ate lots of junk food. Whats the Prison Break ride? It's basically a maze with a prison theme and you're supposed to find your way out. The maze is pitch black with only blinking light bulbs as your source of light and staff dressed as prisoners are stationed at strategic locations to scare the shit out of you. I was once again got pushed forward to lead a small group of people in the maze and I accidentally got us lost. Halfway navigating through the maze, a woman suddenly appeared out of nowhere and told us that we're not supposed to be here. It's not my fault k. It was so dark that I couldn't see the right path. I even scared myself when I saw my own reflection thinking it was one of those staff dressed as prisoners coming to rape me. So yeah for 8 bucks it was kind of expensive but it was quite an interesting ride.

Hard Rock Ride

Power Surge Ride

What is a carnival without games? So yeah I did play a few games. Okay maybe only one game since I don't want to waste so much money without wining anything. There was one game which I found quite interesting. Basically there was a ladder and your supposed to climb it and touch a spot on the wall. Successfully doing so will reward you with 50 bucks. Sounds simple right? I mean the man who set up the game could even do it with his eyes closed. This is the catch- the ladder turns 360 degrees. So to climb up the ladder, you must maintain balance in the weight put on the ladder to prevent the ladder from rotating. Initially the guy will help you balance the ladder but after you reach halfway, he'll let go and laugh as the ladder rotates and you come tumbling down. I think it's a con game. No one can ever win. I bet that guy will grab your crotch as he lets go of the ladder to make you lose concentration. The only game I tried was throwing balls into a pail and successfully putting in 2 will get you a soft toy. I don't even know why I played it. I don't even have a girlfriend to give the toy to. But then again I can decorate my manly room with giant soft toys. Unfortunately I only put one in (thanks to my friend uncle johnny. He was the one that put it in) and got myself a small robot dog which moves according to the command you give it. It replied instantly in the first few hours but stopped moving altogether after that. Furious I raped the dog and chuck it aside.

The day ended with a car/motorbike show and fireworks. The best event that day is easily the motor bike stunts. Words cannot describe them. You would have to see them yourself. Come to Adelaide next year about this time and I'll take you there. I uploaded a few pictures for u people to see. Enjoy!

Group Pic

The main difference between these guys and rempits: They don't fall and die horribly.

Fuyooohhhh. Wheelie!

Tag-team stunt. Man these guys make rempits look like caplang. Must be the bikes I tell you. If only rempits stop using lousy Kriss bikes.

Random fireworks pic

PS: Pictures courtesy of Nicole. Thanks!

Fulham Is No.1

2007-09-09T14:37:00.001+08:00

I'm getting tired of you people who only support famous EPL teams. What about the other not-so famous teams like Westham, Tottenham, Everton and most notable, Fulham? I'm putting this straight to you soccer fans out there, Fulham beats the crap out of any other team.

I'm really pissed when people ask me what's my favourite club and give me their weird lost look when I reply Fulham. Why nobody knows Fulham???? They are the best out there. With Luis Boa Morte alone, the team is invicible. Who needs Van Der Sar or Inamoto who betrayed and left the team. Look at them now suffering in their new teams, slowly losing their fame. They had better chances in Fulham I tell you.

The main 3 reason why I choose Fulham is the best are:

1. They have Luis Boa Morte, the black player extravaganza. (He was even on the bench for the France Team. OMG he's so sexy!)

2. They always seem to be thrashing their opponent in the start but lose badly in the last minute. Only a cun team can perform such feat!

3. They are always near relegation, but will never relegated be coz they rock so hard.

That's why I like Fulham. They are die hard. They will never be relegated and Luis Boa Morte rock my world. Piss off Manu and Liverpool fans. My Fulham can take you on anytime. Maybe not this year but next year. And don't tell me Boa Morte left the team. I don't believe you. Fulham fans lets unite and create a fan club together!!!!

Australia, The Place To Slack?

2007-08-28T17:47:00.000+08:00

Last year, I heard from friends and relatives that the lifestyle in Australia is really slack. I mean the shops all close by 5 and most of the time you can see Aussies lying freely on the grass staring into the clear blue sky aimlessly. Upon hearing that, I decided to further my studies there, hoping to have an easier life, i mean experience.

I was proven wrong when the 2nd semester started. With waves of exams and projects to boot, I am forced to constantly study and work reminding me of the painful year of trials and homework last year. I feel just like living in Malaysia minus the shorter contact hours. I know you people studying in Malaysia say that I shouldn't complain but it's your own fault for choosing another year of hell in Malaysia. Anyway the purpose of this post this time is to prove you people wrong about Australia being the place to slack. There is loads of work and tests every week and the same goes for uni unless you're doing commerce which has shorter contact hours. So don't believe people who say that you'll have an easier life here. Don't get fooled the same way I got fooled. Dear parents please don't read the next line...

At least I get to escape the clutches of my parents. No more forcing me to study and all. Hahahaha in your face taylorians and helpers! No more caning/ grounding when I don't get good grades! In your face shenny! But of course I won't simply play all day. I'm a good clean boy who listens to his parents :)

So being a good clean boy like I know most of you know, I have to continue studying soon. The lack of posts is due to projects and the wave of tests.

Why they make me look so hornyyyyy???? I'm a clean boy!!!

Get simpsonized here!

Paintball

2007-08-19T00:47:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the very first time I played paintball. It was painful but inflicting pain on others was well worth it. I would have known where the paintball field was located if I wasn't sleeping all the time in the bus. Don't blame me, it was too early. You try waking up at 8 and see if u manage to stay awake.

So anyway we left Lincoln at 8.30 and reached at about 9.30. The field was on a hill and this further worsen the cold weather. Once we get there, we would have to choose our package: starter (100 balls for $35 which is pretty pathetic), rambo pack( 300 balls for $75 which is okla if you don't like wasting so much money like me) and terminator pack (600 balls for $120 which is great if you are pissed that day and just feel like kicking some ass). I chose the rambo pack since I knew that 100 balls is just way too little and being a noob I would most probably finish it in a game.

We suit up and were divided into two teams, Red and Blue. After receiving our guns, we were led to the first field for a short tutorial and we were ready to rock. We played a total of 4 fields, first which is really just a simple field with barricades, second which is a ravine, third which is a simple hill with wooden planks erected as fortress and the last field which is the field with trenches. I 'died' every round but it was satisfying , minus the part where you get shot.

So after playing paintball today, I came up with 3 easy steps to win:

a) Always rush first because it's more fun shooting your opponent in a close range (forget the dumb 6 meters rule). If you're shot while rushing, try wiping the paint off or at least take out the person who shot you.

b) Never give up because you are only encouraging your opponents to shoot you more. Imagine this, a tall guy gets out of his hiding spot, puts his gun in the air and shouts out I give up. Go figure.

c) Whenever you lie down to hide up on the hill, cover your balls (only applicable to males) because lying down on top of the hill with your crotch wide open will not only give your opponent an easy target to shoot at but also rob you off your father's day.

The funniest event which happen today was:

Chewy: Haha bitches! Come on and shoot me! Wtf you all can't shoot me?? Shoot me bitches!! (while taunting his opponents with the middle finger)

Mei and another person on chewy's team started firing at chewy's back and this caused him to turn around only to get another shot right at his mouth.

Chewy: Bastards, why you guys shooting me??

Mei: OH, I thought you told us to shoot you....

So that's all there is to it in yesterday's paintball. Really a fun experience. I recommend this sport to all those who haven't tried this before and just feel like venting your anger out by shooting people who annoys the hell out of you. You can shoot yourself too if you're a self mutilator.

What Is Truth

2007-08-10T15:54:00.000+08:00

Something very interesting happened in my critical thinking class today. Well for those of you who don't know what critical thinking is all about, I'll give you a brief description. It is a subject where you study dead philosophers philosophies and think 'critically' about them. So now back to what happened today. Below is a conversation between a student and the lecturer.

Mr A: Alrite class, today we are going to talk about truth. What is truth? Truth is something which in reality really happened. Let's say there is a crocodile in the corridor. Is it true that there is one? If there is, how would you say that it is a true statement?

Student A: Ummm, through observation?

Mr A: Wrong. Did you really see a crocodile there? Unless there is one really there only then we can say that it is true.

Student A: Ok.....

Student B: You don't have balls Mr A!

Mr A: Aha! Is that a true statement? Did you by observation saw me walked into a hospital and requested for my balls to be surgically removed? Were you there to witness the surgeon remove my balls? Did you by memory recall any of this incident and therefore make a true statement that I don't have balls?

Student B: Ummm....

Mr A: Did you by any chance grabbed my crotch and felt that I'm in fact ball-less? Or the fact that you slept with me and saw that I am really ball-less?

Student B: Ok! Ok! No!

Mr A: Aha that's where you're wrong for I did have my balls surgically removed. It is therefore a true statement. See students, you have to truly understand what is truth to make a true statement like how a brilliant man I am did.

Student B: But Mr A, you just said that...

Mr A: Enough! End of discussion . I'm right and you're wrong. Who's the lecturer anyway?

Student B: Alrite. I'll shuddup now.

And so the class proceeds. I'm getting a headache from all the critical thinking. I'll be taking a break now.

Proud To Be A Convict

2007-08-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

Am I the only one who noticed something about Akon? I mean sure he's got some nice song but why is he so proud to be an ex-convict??

Seriously I wouldn't be too proud to be one. I was listening to his songs and I noticed that most of it always start with 'Convict...Convict....'. Man shouldn't those bad memories be forgotten? He even named his label Konvict or something like that for goodness sake!

Hmmm maybe if I commit a crime, land myself in jail and get out I can be a famous rapper. I can go like 'Convict...Convict..Love it...Yeah baby....You there.....I'm a convict...Yeah......I'm rapping now yo......As an ex-convict......Love me.....Coz I'm a Convict...Pissing Out.......Yeh Pissing Out yo........Orgasmic......Yeahhhhhhhhh.....'

I'm not jealous of Akon or anything k. So Akon fans don't get me wrong. I still love him. Just wondering why he likes being a convict.

I Will Follow You

2007-08-06T15:58:00.000+08:00

Warning: DIGI people please don't read this. If you find it really insulting exit this page immediately.

Alrite. Who here knows the DIGI mascot? Those yellow 'things' always running around in the television. Seriously, get a new mascot. They are plain ugly, freaky and disgusting. Plus with the motto 'I will Follow You', you made them look like rapists.

Look at its smirk. Potential rapist man.

Seriously I can't imagine those diarrhea looking people following you around. They will get closer to you and slowly grab your ass, touch your x-area and forcibly pull down your pants/ skirt. From there they would unzip their yellow suit and pull out their yellow canon and you can use your imagination. If they rape guys its alrite, but imagine if girls get rape. They will give birth to those yellow babies!!!!!!!

I think I talk too much. Better stop here. If I just ruin your appetite pardon me. Just making a point.

Little Boys Club

2007-07-24T09:56:00.000+08:00

I'm going to do a little advertisement this time.

Who knows the mighty Little Boys Club? You don't? Let me tell you how awesome it is. It is a very special club founded at a very humble place, the boy's toilet. It may sound disgusting but once you spend most of your time there, it's like a second home. During my last secondary school year, I found myself going to the toilet a lot, not to pee or make chocolate cake (I would be sickla den go so many times) but to CHILL out. That's how I formed LBC. With growing members, the club became really famous among my friends. Heck, we even had LBC sessions before classes, in between and after classes. LBC is therefore the perfect place to make new friends as you see new faces everyday. When you take a piss, just look to the person beside him, give him a nudge and greet him. I bet you'll be good friends soon. So remove the mentality that toilets is only meant for one to take a piss or make chocolate cake. It is like a second home (Homeless people hint!!). From when you're born until the day you die, you would be visiting the LBC for at least 40 percent or more of your lifespan. So don't be shy when you say you love chilling in the toilet. Make it your pride and join the very special club today. I welcome new ideas on how to make the toilet the ideal chill out place.

I bet even girls have their own LBC. If not why some of them spend so much time in toilets too.

The Great Cycling Trip

2007-07-16T11:30:00.000+08:00

Man the internet connection in Malaysia is so damn slow. Going to the new post page takes ages and you wouldn't want to imagine how long it took to upload photos. So that's why updates have been delayed.

On the 9th of July, I had the greatest cycling experience of my life. It was a 5 hour journey from Lincoln College (North Adelaide) to Henley Beach, down South to Glenelg and finally back to the college. We followed the cycling trail along Torrens River to Henley first and then just cycle straight South West Beach and finally Glenelg. We (Masa, K Shiun and me) left at approximately 10.30 and reached back Lincoln at 3.30. K Shiun betrayed Masa and me and left for his rented house along Melbourne Street at the end of the journey, leaving Masa and me to tackle the steep Lincoln Hill.

What happened along the way? You can say that we now have more turgid ass due to the hard bike seats and sore legs due to long hours of cycling. Obviously we didn't cycle without rest. We're not some crazy Olympics athlete k.

I uploaded some photos for u people to see. Oh yeah along the way to Henley Beach, we saw some horses along the river. Seems like some rich people are raring horses as pets.

Some random stuff on then way to Henley

The horse- forgot his name

Henley Beach jetty- under construction so couldn't walk

Henley Beach Town

Journey to Glenelg along West Beach

Glenelg North Town

Crossing the river

Destination reached! Glenelg Beach (From left: K Shiun, Masa , sexy Koala)

Cycling is indeed a very healthy exercise. Girls who want to be slim, don't go to some random slimming company like Marie France or take some random life threatening pills. Just follow what I did maybe about 3 times and I guarantee even the fattest person can be slim (Plus muscular ass- good for smacking). Providing you don't eat double of what you lost during cycling.

PS: I'll got the chat box fixed.

The Kangaroo Island Trip

2007-07-07T12:09:00.000+08:00

While in Adelaide, I got a chance to visit Kangaroo Island with my fellow seniors. Without giving much thought about the expensive price (about 190 AUS for the flight ticket) I just payed for the one day trip hoping to see some wild kangaroos. So the day arrived (I think it was some day in April during the break) and I swear that the plane we board was exactly like a bus. It was even smaller than the Air Asia plane we have in Malaysia. In fact it's so old school it has propellers.

The plane can fit about 20 people max and the although there was only 7 people on board that day, we can't sit where we like or the plane will tilt due to weight imbalance. By the way if you have a tummy ache in the plane, you're definitely in trouble as there is no toilet at all. I'm considering wearing pampers the next time I board the plane.

45 minutes later, we finally reached our destination, Kingscote (the main town in Kangaroo Island). If you think that the plane is shocking, you should've seen the airport. It was smaller than any of the Highway rest house you find in Malaysia. I guess it's kind of appropriate since the population of Kangaroo Island is about 2000 people and it's not a busy place where people would visit everyday. So then off we go to get our rented car and meet up with our friends who was already there in Kangaroo Island the day before. After talking a little and planning our trip, we head off to a bee farm and learn how honey was produced (real educational trip eh).

So after getting bored of watching the bees buzz around, we bought a few jars of honey and went to eat a little at some barn house-like restaurant. I swear I was ripped off as I paid 20 AUS for a so called king platter and all they gave me was 2 fish fillet, loads of chips, 3 calamari rings and 4 small ass prawns. I thought the menu wrote KING PRAWNS. Nia mother cheat my money.

Man I'm never going back there again. So guys if you see a barn house-like restaurant avoid it (Sorry I forgot the name of the restaurant). After filling our tummy with crappy food, we head off to Seal Bay to see some seals obviously.

Those are seals btw.

Cute creatures aren't they. I always wonder how they hold their head 90 degrees up in the air without snapping their neck.

Once we had enough of the smelly seals, we went to our next destination which is Kelly caves. Took lots of interesting photos. Apparently no one is allowed to take any photos last 2 years as the flash from the cameras will some how melt the stalagmites since the cave is being lighted up with light bulbs which is already giving off enough heat. This year however, the light bulbs are replaced by fiber optics and therefore give out no heat, allowing visitors to take amazing pictures of the stalagmites.

Why is it called Kelly's cave you all wonder. According to the poster there, some horse named Kelly fell into a hole and that hole is actually the cave we visited. It's a myth however since no horse bone is found up until today.

Finally we head off to our final destination, Flinders Chase National Park. We visited 2 places there, Remarkable Rocks and Admiral Arch. Loads of winding road in the park. We all had a very interesting drive.

Remarkable Rocks

Don't rape me!!

Admirals Arch

Sunset at 5.45, u don't get this in Malaysia

Our flight back was at 7.45 and we literally rushed back to Kingscote. It was really a tiring and enjoyable day. Hope you guys enjoy the photos. Feel free to use them as wallpapers. By the way the photos are not photoshopped (natural beauty indeed). Due to petrol and car rental, the one day trip cost me about 280-300 AUS. Not cheap man. I'm not going back there again.

PS: Special thanks to our driver and tour guide of the day, Mr Sing Yew Foo (SYF).

Studying in Australia

2007-07-05T10:40:00.000+08:00

It takes one guts to study abroad. Studying in Australia have thought me many useful life lessons like how to use the microwave to cook maggi and fry egg (that's right folks, you can use the microwave to cook maggi and fry egg, mayb not fry but cook), how to study by yourself since in Australia tuitions are for cc's and etc etc. Doing laundry once every week and after that folding your clothes can be a chore but after a while you'll get used to it (so guys, you people better appreciate your mom or maids you have at home right now as it's a tough world out there. Those studying abroad WITHOUT their mom will understand).

But among all the stuff mentioned above, you will also experience culture shock. Some might get sick from it or even have difficulty trying to adapt to their new home. As for me, my face turn
If you're like me, you will experience the culture shock face. That's enough crap for now, till next time ciao.

Koala is Introducing Himself

2007-07-05T09:33:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody it's your friendly koala over here. This is my first time writing a blog and I hope to learn lots from you experienced blogger. Kla enough crap.

The main reason I start this blog is to share the koala love around the world. I have done many things which I shouldn't state here in school but I'm actually a nice and gay guy. Gay doesn't mean I'm homo but more to a really happy guy. If you want to find a gay guy find this guy name Wong Wai Yeap aka crotch grabber. Hope you guys enjoy my posts to come and if I'm hardworking I might even upload 'exciting' photos. Btw you can add me on msn (jet_fighter_2000@hotmail.com) if you feel like it or become one of my friends on friendster (find adrian khor).

PS: I noela da email sounds corny. I created it wen I was std 5 k.