Of Nipple Crippler and Cupping Cocks

Guess what folks? The koala's back for a new blog post. I know I have been neglecting my blog for a while now but it's because of my transition from college to university life. Now that I've settled down I hope that I'll blog more frequent for both mine and your entertainment.

What I want to say in this post is something everybody see very often in school. Yes, it's the nipple crippler and the cock cupper. If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, all I can say is you haven't been to school much. Nipple crippler is basically the twisting of nipples which would result in the victim having really sore and bruised nipple for a week or two if done correctly. It's hard to perfect this technique though as nipples cover a very small area of your breast and unless you have saggy fat breast, it's actually very hard to hit the nipple in your first try unless you know your victim really well or the victim doesn't mind and didn't retaliate.

I think that guy wet his pants.


Man even apes do it.

The cock cupper involves bending your fingers in the shape of a cup and slamming it into another guy's crotch. If you were to hit the right spot, it would result in the victim giving out a really loud moan or scream followed by an ejaculation. Best done when the guy's hard. Be warned though as frequent cock cuppers can actually cause a guy to lose his Father's day and yes, you do get sued for it.

Now a question that I have in mind is, why don't girls play such games. I mean you don't see girls going around nipple grippling her friends do you? I'm just curious what girls play during their high school life and if you're a female reader, do tell me as I'm sure all the male readers are curious too. Do you play boob smasher? Or maybe Unhook Bra Domination? I don't know you girls tell me. I guess I've talked too much cock for now. I have stuff that I have to be doing and so until next time, give me feedback girls and I'll write the second part of this post.

PS: How are you guys enjoying your university life? Drop a comment at my chatbox so that A-levels and Pre-U people know what they're going to expect. The only thing I can say is they don't teach much at lectures and self-study is pretty much a must if you want to pass. See you people next time!

Koala's Quotes Of 2008

The year 2008 is still new to all of us that each time we talk about the year, we assumed that it's still 2007. I've been told off a few times now and many agreed that we won't be able to accept that it's already year 2008 until something exciting like the coming Chinese Year has passed. Well until that day has come why not enjoy some of Koala's home made quotes for the year 2008!

Quote 1: Why strip naked alone when you can earn big bucks stripping in front of the public.
Translation: We must jump at every open opportunity or we'll regret it later.

Quote 2: Why buy a vibrator when you have a banana?
Translation: We must not waste money on luxury but instead be thrifty and make your own luxury.

Quote 3: You aren't famous until you are found on a porn website.
Translation: You aren't that famous, until the world knows you.

Quote 4: Why go for one chick, when you can have many many more!
Translation: Everybody loves a large array of choices .

Quote 5: Push your limits to more than one orgasm.
Translation: One must push their limits beyond their expectations.

Quote 6: You can cheat on your lovers, as long as they don't find out!
Translation: What people don't know can't hurt them.

Quote 7: Why read this blog when you can do something more productive?
Translation: You have too much free time. Till next time ladies and gentleman, have a great break!

2008- Year of the Koala

I hope so haha! I find it unfair how the 12 zodiac animals does not include the koala. Oh yea, because they would be sure to win with their agility and overwhelming intelligence. You see koalas sleep because they don't want any wasted movements, making them very efficient creatures. Alright here are my new year's resolution:

1. Stop a rape.

2. Stop pornography.



3. Be a clean boy.

4. Rape rapists.

5. Streaking in KL (wanna join anybody?)



6. Molest Micheal Jackson.



7. Smuggle koalas into Malaysia.


And a few more if I have the time to think. So happy new year to all and don't go Adelaide to do your foundation when you can always do it in Taylors haha!

Koala In Sydney

Well it has been a while isn't it? After my exams I was thinking of a perfect place to chill and I thought, why not the big city Sydney? So off I flew together with my uncle johnny and aunty nicole on the 5th of December. You all must be thinking 'wah koala so rich can go Sydney wei' but before you all do any thinking, my flight ticket is only 89 bucks (one way) and I would be staying in my uncle's house all the time so not some fancy 5-star hotel shit.

I stayed there for a whooping 6 days and I must say, it was quite a good vacation. The city is big compared to small fry Adelaide and some of its suburb is already as big as Adelaide city. The main transport there is train and from the train station you could either take the bus or walk to your destination. My uncle's house is located at Turramara (pronounced Tharamara- bloody hard to pronounce names is what Sydney is famous for) and it's a good 40 minutes (30 minutes by train to the Townshall station)drive from the city. Upon arrivin g Sydney, my uncle was kind enough to give Uncle Johnny and me to his gigantic crib (aunty nicole stayed with her parents in a hotel) and due to massive traffic jam, it was an hour and a half drive to his place. By the way my uncle has this big dog (a lassie dog) which I very much fear because of the way it kept looking at my sausage and as much as I know how much it would like to yank it off it wouldn't be funny if my manhood ended then.

We put our bags down and off we went to visit the city. On th e first day, we met up with aunty nicole and her parents (plus brother john) for lunch at BBQ king. Food wasn't that fantastic but more the less edible (they serve hong kong style food). Being new to Sydney, we didn't know where the good places are so we used our very reliable city map and visited south of the city. There was this giant mall which looked very much alike Sungai Wang called Market City filled with shops with funny chinese names. It was there when I realize the greatest flaw in the Transformers movie- where the hell are the robot's genitals? Behold the true picture of Megatron, unleashing his mightiest weapon ever.

Fear me Optimus Prime!

There is IGA there too which sold chinese products and it was very much asian-like. There I saw some of the most dodgy brand ever. Apparently Planta replaced their model with a fat malay boy to please some people.

The New Age Planta

We ended our first day with dinner at aunty nicole's place where her mom cooked up a great dinner and off we went home riding the train.

Fiddy cent's home

On the second day, johnny's old school buddies- Duck and Watermelon took us on a tour around the city.

The Harbour Bridge

We went to the Rocks where we stopped for a great lunch at Pancakes on the Rocks (You must try the Beef and Pork ribs. The pancakes are also not too bad but pancakes are pancakes, can't really change the taste). After lunch, we then visited Circular Quay (pronounced circular key) and upon seeing the sea, I felt my bladder vibrating. SO folks if you have to go, you have to go.

They caught me at a bad time

The Opera House

Once I relieve myself, we then walked to the Opera House because the water taxi cost too much and you would have to dress in purple to ride them.

The Purple Groove

The Opera House well.... is an Opera House. Nothing much to describe there.

The Opera House (From left: Aunty Nicole, Uncle Johnny, Watermelon, Duck)

Wanna peek? Only 1 dollar

For dinner we went to Ramen Kan at China Town (Dixon Street) which serve pretty good japanese cuisine at a reasonable price (say below 10 bucks). After eating we realized it was way past the time for the last train and this forced me and uncle johnny to overnight at nicole's place.

The next morning, nicole and family has to drive to Canberra, leaving uncle johnny and me in the Sydney. Feeling bored, we visited the Aquarium and Wildlife Park at Darling Harbour and only paid 18 bucks for both the ticket since we had a buy one get one free voucher given by my aunty.

Johnny and me at the Darling Harbour

The Aquarium was pretty good and has a diverse range of fishes. Each time I see the fishes I always wonder if they are edible especially those big ass ones. Oh and I also learned how sea urchins defecate by asking a lady at the touch pool. The Wildlife Park was apparently pretty new and has only a few kinds of animals (more to those native animals like koalas, kangaroos, possum). Over there I learned how snakes mated and that you would have to probe their private parts to find their genitals. Man I can't believe I learned so much in one day. I wanted to tickle the koalas' ass but you would have to pay to touch them. The day ended with uncle bringing us to fine dining at Olio (it was at North Sydney I think) and a movie- The Hills Have Eyes 2 ( it's about ugly guys raping pretty girls) at home.

On Saturday, uncle brought us to Manly beach (initially the plan was Blue Mountain but we felt it was sort of like an old man's trip and there wouldn't be babes up there). It was a pretty good beach with pretty babes running left and right and muscular man with tight trunks (Uncle said Bondi was good too but we didn't have time to visit both). It was pretty difficult for me to babe watch since I didn't have sunnies and worse still I had to squint due to the sun shinning right in my face, making me look like a pervert which I know most of you know I'm not.

At Manly

Me and my uncle at Manly


Climbing Mountains

Nothing much happened after the beach trip I guess if my memory serves me well because Big Man Foo arrived in Sydney too late (we were supposed to have dinner with him).

Sunday was pretty chilling since we decided to stay in and just well, chill. Uncle brought us to some Malaysian restaurant for lunch which we planned to treat him but failed miserably because he was just too quick. In the afternoon we went to DFO where we bought a few cheap clothes (Fucuk or FCUK t-shirt for only 10 bucks etc). DFO or Direct Factory Outlet is according to Johnny a place where you can get cheap clothes because the fashion arrives a little late (behind by one fashion). At night uncle and aunty had to attend some dinner so we were left at home to chill. We watched a movie (The Mimic- some giant bug show) and ate pizza for dinner.

My kind of desert

On Monday Johnny wanted to go back to Pancakes on the Rocks to savour the ribs once more which we did and did a little bit more shopping at George Street. We also bought Krispy Kreme back for my uncle and his family and wine (red wine and port) as a token of gratitude. We flew back the next day and thus marked the end of our Sydney Trip.

Krispy Kreme on George Street near Wynerd Station

PS. Thanks uncle and aunty for the great time. On a side note, I have to say Sydney has a lot of BAR (Bastards on Road) and rude China Apeks so those of you who want to visit Sydney, keep this in mind and don't mind those bitches. This is the Koala wishing you all a very good holiday and remember to play safe- use Durex.

The 5 Most Difficult Questions

Ok i felt guilty not posting for the whole month so I'm going to post at least once today (and partly due to you guys complaining about the yellow banana). Today's intelligent topic on this highly educational site is 'The 5 Most Difficult Questions' I have ever encountered in my life and my answers to them. Feel free to tell me otherwise ok?

1. If there is Heaven and Hell, which do you prefer to go to after your demise?



Haha a classic question by most Christians (please don't get offended, it's my view based on experience) by which a 'yes' answer would come to 'then accept our Lord for He is the gateway to heaven'. If you ask me, I'll want to know if God is a sexy person since I would want to be in a place full of sexy people after I die. You don't want to stay in a place full of good people and nerds who contributed significantly to our society right? Well except for Newton since he has giant apples. If God ain't sexy then I prefer the latter since I'm sure there's weed in Hell. Ahhhh weed and prostitutes...... my heaven.

2. Do all guys/ girls watch porn?

Porn? yummmm....

3. Why do we always procrastinate before my exams?



Because there's porn on the internet. Simple.

4. Why isn't there a female rapist?



Ah that's where you're wrong. There are female rapist but their victims all got raped so hard they vaporised. And yes you do vaporise due to the immense pressure exerted on you until Newton's Third Law is unable to work.

5. Is there any more difficult question?

You ask me and I'll try to answer them as intellectual as possible.

All right that's it people. I'll be sitting for my exams in 2 days time. All the best to those who have and haven't done their exams.

Vibrator Substitutes

There's one question bothering me all the time. Why do girl's need to buy vibrators? I mean I'm sure they cost a lot for a cylindrical toy which vibrates. There's so many substitutes out there which you can use at a cheaper price. Oh yea, this is a heavily sexual-related content. Small kids and easily disgusted people please click the back button now. Thank you.

Koala's Choice of Substitutions:





1. Banana- It has the shape. A little soft though. Enough said.



2. Cucumber- It's long for those looking for deep penetration action. SImply a classic and most easily available.




3. Sea Cucumber- Same like the cucumber but lubricated. Reduce infections.




4. Durian- Sure to give multiple orgasm! The spikes just hits the spot! Might promote early menstruation though.




5. Handphone- It vibrates. Keep the phone on silent if you're shy. Might be a little short but a good substitute if desperate.




6. Test tube- Apparently it has been tried and it broke while uhmmm..... SO yea try at your own risk.

There are probably a few more but I'm not that creative. More suggestions welcomed (Make a comment and I'll add it to the list). Have fun people!! Happy Swot-Vac!

PS: www.mrgaykoala.blogspot.com is not responsible to any injuries related to the usage of the vibrator substitutes. Please use them at your own risk and I pray that you will all play safe.

Music Night

On the 13th of October, I performed during Music Night. It ain't another rap fellas. It's an indo song called 'menghapus jejakmu' by Peter Pan and a jap song called 'Hotarubi' by Ryhtem. I was the playing the rhythm (guitar) for Hotarubi with Elaine, Khai Wan and Madeline while for the Menghapus Jejakmu, I was on bass and background vocal with 'Tank & The Tankies' (Johnny-lead guitar, Sng- ryhtem, Mag-drums, Sing Yew- Vocal).

This was the first time I actually played my guitar on stage so there was a couple of mistake here and there. I'll upload the video on the Music Night once it's released. SO until then don't expect any updates. Oh yeah sorry panda for not playing the tag game. I'm new to blogging so I don't know how to do it. Seriously.

On another note, I just want to say that I'm proud of Malaysia for being able to launch our very own astronaut up to space. Although it's considered a waste of tax payer's money by some people, it was all for the sake of accomplishing the ultimate Malaysian Dream- making teh tarik and playing congkak+ sepak takraw in space( anti-gravity fun). See people, as long as you believe from the bottom of your heart, not your ass you can make your dream come true! Hell yea Malaysia Boleh!! However I kinda feel sad for that guy since he's going to space all alone. They should send a female up there too! Then they can have some fun. If female cannot male also can- as long as there's a hole anything is possible right. HAH male also don't want to send!!?? Kla send animal (preferably those closer to humans like HINT- a monkey) also can right. Come on people. Imagine how lonely he'll be up there. Jerking off won't be easy with that heavy astronaut suit k. At least with a partner it's worth to go through the hassle of taking out that heavy suit.

PS. Lack of updates due to lots of things in my hands. That's not what I mean you dirty people! Sheesh.