When a Guy Gets 2 Soft Toys

What happens when a guy gets 2 soft toys? Well my good friend Bill went to the Adelaide Show (If you don't know what the Adelaide Show is, please read the previous post first) and won himself 2 soft toys from the ball throwing game. So my question is what do you do with them? Do you decorate your manly room? Have happy time with it?? Well that's not what my friend Bill decided to do. I'll upload pictures that he took featuring the soft toys. This is one of the post where I let your imagination run wild and guess what the following images are supposed to be. Like what they all say, let the pictures do the talking!

Warning: The following images is only intended for mature audiences and due my lack of photoshop experience, I'm unable to censor them. If you experience any trauma from viewing them, www.mrgaykoala.blogspot.com is not responsible. View them at your own risk and kids, don't ask your mom and dad what the images are.

These soft toys are somehow meant for these kind of pictures.

PS: Thanks Bill for the pics. You're a genius photographer and choreographer for these kind of pics!

The Royal Adelaide Show

On the 15th of September, I went to the Royal Adelaide Show. It was the last day for the show (it lasted for a week I think) and despite people saying how boring it was, I still went. Why? Obviously to procrastinate from work. So anyway the Royal Adelaide Show is actually supposed to be an event for farmers to show off their agricultural products. You must be thinking- ai yah see farmers show off their fat cows and plants oso nice meh?- but besides the agricultural products there are also rides, food stalls and show bags to be bought. Think of it more like a huge carnival with ferris wheel, hot dogs and cotton candy (plus the barnyard animals).

OMG! I'm so excited. I can't wait to get in!

Among all the events, I was really hoping to catch the pig race held that day so that I can earn extra money from betting on the fastest pig (like Sports Toto). Sadly it was held early in the morning and knowing me it was an impossible feat. When I reached the Showground (where the Adelaide Show was held) at 2.oo pm, painful memories started to haunt me since it was the same place where I had my mid year exam. Putting aside the memories, I paid 12 to enter and it was then when I realized that I'm out of cash. A piece of advice: Make sure you bring enough cash because there is a freaking long line at the atm machine! After getting some cash, my friends persuaded me to get my face painted like a koala but due to the long line of children at the stall, we gave up.

So what did I do there for a good 7 hours? I rode 2 rides (Prison Break and some Spinning Stuff) and ate lots of junk food. Whats the Prison Break ride? It's basically a maze with a prison theme and you're supposed to find your way out. The maze is pitch black with only blinking light bulbs as your source of light and staff dressed as prisoners are stationed at strategic locations to scare the shit out of you. I was once again got pushed forward to lead a small group of people in the maze and I accidentally got us lost. Halfway navigating through the maze, a woman suddenly appeared out of nowhere and told us that we're not supposed to be here. It's not my fault k. It was so dark that I couldn't see the right path. I even scared myself when I saw my own reflection thinking it was one of those staff dressed as prisoners coming to rape me. So yeah for 8 bucks it was kind of expensive but it was quite an interesting ride.

Hard Rock Ride

Power Surge Ride

What is a carnival without games? So yeah I did play a few games. Okay maybe only one game since I don't want to waste so much money without wining anything. There was one game which I found quite interesting. Basically there was a ladder and your supposed to climb it and touch a spot on the wall. Successfully doing so will reward you with 50 bucks. Sounds simple right? I mean the man who set up the game could even do it with his eyes closed. This is the catch- the ladder turns 360 degrees. So to climb up the ladder, you must maintain balance in the weight put on the ladder to prevent the ladder from rotating. Initially the guy will help you balance the ladder but after you reach halfway, he'll let go and laugh as the ladder rotates and you come tumbling down. I think it's a con game. No one can ever win. I bet that guy will grab your crotch as he lets go of the ladder to make you lose concentration. The only game I tried was throwing balls into a pail and successfully putting in 2 will get you a soft toy. I don't even know why I played it. I don't even have a girlfriend to give the toy to. But then again I can decorate my manly room with giant soft toys. Unfortunately I only put one in (thanks to my friend uncle johnny. He was the one that put it in) and got myself a small robot dog which moves according to the command you give it. It replied instantly in the first few hours but stopped moving altogether after that. Furious I raped the dog and chuck it aside.

The day ended with a car/motorbike show and fireworks. The best event that day is easily the motor bike stunts. Words cannot describe them. You would have to see them yourself. Come to Adelaide next year about this time and I'll take you there. I uploaded a few pictures for u people to see. Enjoy!

Group Pic

The main difference between these guys and rempits: They don't fall and die horribly.

Fuyooohhhh. Wheelie!

Tag-team stunt. Man these guys make rempits look like caplang. Must be the bikes I tell you. If only rempits stop using lousy Kriss bikes.


Random fireworks pic

PS: Pictures courtesy of Nicole. Thanks!

Fulham Is No.1

I'm getting tired of you people who only support famous EPL teams. What about the other not-so famous teams like Westham, Tottenham, Everton and most notable, Fulham? I'm putting this straight to you soccer fans out there, Fulham beats the crap out of any other team.

I'm really pissed when people ask me what's my favourite club and give me their weird lost look when I reply Fulham. Why nobody knows Fulham???? They are the best out there. With Luis Boa Morte alone, the team is invicible. Who needs Van Der Sar or Inamoto who betrayed and left the team. Look at them now suffering in their new teams, slowly losing their fame. They had better chances in Fulham I tell you.

The main 3 reason why I choose Fulham is the best are:

1. They have Luis Boa Morte, the black player extravaganza. (He was even on the bench for the France Team. OMG he's so sexy!)




2. They always seem to be thrashing their opponent in the start but lose badly in the last minute. Only a cun team can perform such feat!

3. They are always near relegation, but will never relegated be coz they rock so hard.

That's why I like Fulham. They are die hard. They will never be relegated and Luis Boa Morte rock my world. Piss off Manu and Liverpool fans. My Fulham can take you on anytime. Maybe not this year but next year. And don't tell me Boa Morte left the team. I don't believe you. Fulham fans lets unite and create a fan club together!!!!

Australia, The Place To Slack?

Last year, I heard from friends and relatives that the lifestyle in Australia is really slack. I mean the shops all close by 5 and most of the time you can see Aussies lying freely on the grass staring into the clear blue sky aimlessly. Upon hearing that, I decided to further my studies there, hoping to have an easier life, i mean experience.

I was proven wrong when the 2nd semester started. With waves of exams and projects to boot, I am forced to constantly study and work reminding me of the painful year of trials and homework last year. I feel just like living in Malaysia minus the shorter contact hours. I know you people studying in Malaysia say that I shouldn't complain but it's your own fault for choosing another year of hell in Malaysia. Anyway the purpose of this post this time is to prove you people wrong about Australia being the place to slack. There is loads of work and tests every week and the same goes for uni unless you're doing commerce which has shorter contact hours. So don't believe people who say that you'll have an easier life here. Don't get fooled the same way I got fooled. Dear parents please don't read the next line...

At least I get to escape the clutches of my parents. No more forcing me to study and all. Hahahaha in your face taylorians and helpers! No more caning/ grounding when I don't get good grades! In your face shenny! But of course I won't simply play all day. I'm a good clean boy who listens to his parents :)

So being a good clean boy like I know most of you know, I have to continue studying soon. The lack of posts is due to projects and the wave of tests.

Why they make me look so hornyyyyy???? I'm a clean boy!!!

Get simpsonized here!

Paintball

Yesterday was the very first time I played paintball. It was painful but inflicting pain on others was well worth it. I would have known where the paintball field was located if I wasn't sleeping all the time in the bus. Don't blame me, it was too early. You try waking up at 8 and see if u manage to stay awake.

So anyway we left Lincoln at 8.30 and reached at about 9.30. The field was on a hill and this further worsen the cold weather. Once we get there, we would have to choose our package: starter (100 balls for $35 which is pretty pathetic), rambo pack( 300 balls for $75 which is okla if you don't like wasting so much money like me) and terminator pack (600 balls for $120 which is great if you are pissed that day and just feel like kicking some ass). I chose the rambo pack since I knew that 100 balls is just way too little and being a noob I would most probably finish it in a game.

We suit up and were divided into two teams, Red and Blue. After receiving our guns, we were led to the first field for a short tutorial and we were ready to rock. We played a total of 4 fields, first which is really just a simple field with barricades, second which is a ravine, third which is a simple hill with wooden planks erected as fortress and the last field which is the field with trenches. I 'died' every round but it was satisfying , minus the part where you get shot.

So after playing paintball today, I came up with 3 easy steps to win:

a) Always rush first because it's more fun shooting your opponent in a close range (forget the dumb 6 meters rule). If you're shot while rushing, try wiping the paint off or at least take out the person who shot you.

b) Never give up because you are only encouraging your opponents to shoot you more. Imagine this, a tall guy gets out of his hiding spot, puts his gun in the air and shouts out I give up. Go figure.

c) Whenever you lie down to hide up on the hill, cover your balls (only applicable to males) because lying down on top of the hill with your crotch wide open will not only give your opponent an easy target to shoot at but also rob you off your father's day.

The funniest event which happen today was:

Chewy: Haha bitches! Come on and shoot me! Wtf you all can't shoot me?? Shoot me bitches!! (while taunting his opponents with the middle finger)

Mei and another person on chewy's team started firing at chewy's back and this caused him to turn around only to get another shot right at his mouth.

Chewy: Bastards, why you guys shooting me??

Mei: OH, I thought you told us to shoot you....

So that's all there is to it in yesterday's paintball. Really a fun experience. I recommend this sport to all those who haven't tried this before and just feel like venting your anger out by shooting people who annoys the hell out of you. You can shoot yourself too if you're a self mutilator.

What Is Truth

Something very interesting happened in my critical thinking class today. Well for those of you who don't know what critical thinking is all about, I'll give you a brief description. It is a subject where you study dead philosophers philosophies and think 'critically' about them. So now back to what happened today. Below is a conversation between a student and the lecturer.

Mr A: Alrite class, today we are going to talk about truth. What is truth? Truth is something which in reality really happened. Let's say there is a crocodile in the corridor. Is it true that there is one? If there is, how would you say that it is a true statement?

Student A: Ummm, through observation?

Mr A: Wrong. Did you really see a crocodile there? Unless there is one really there only then we can say that it is true.

Student A: Ok.....

Student B: You don't have balls Mr A!

Mr A: Aha! Is that a true statement? Did you by observation saw me walked into a hospital and requested for my balls to be surgically removed? Were you there to witness the surgeon remove my balls? Did you by memory recall any of this incident and therefore make a true statement that I don't have balls?

Student B: Ummm....

Mr A: Did you by any chance grabbed my crotch and felt that I'm in fact ball-less? Or the fact that you slept with me and saw that I am really ball-less?

Student B: Ok! Ok! No!

Mr A: Aha that's where you're wrong for I did have my balls surgically removed. It is therefore a true statement. See students, you have to truly understand what is truth to make a true statement like how a brilliant man I am did.

Student B: But Mr A, you just said that...

Mr A: Enough! End of discussion . I'm right and you're wrong. Who's the lecturer anyway?

Student B: Alrite. I'll shuddup now.

And so the class proceeds. I'm getting a headache from all the critical thinking. I'll be taking a break now.

Proud To Be A Convict

Am I the only one who noticed something about Akon? I mean sure he's got some nice song but why is he so proud to be an ex-convict??

Seriously I wouldn't be too proud to be one. I was listening to his songs and I noticed that most of it always start with 'Convict...Convict....'. Man shouldn't those bad memories be forgotten? He even named his label Konvict or something like that for goodness sake!

Hmmm maybe if I commit a crime, land myself in jail and get out I can be a famous rapper. I can go like 'Convict...Convict..Love it...Yeah baby....You there.....I'm a convict...Yeah......I'm rapping now yo......As an ex-convict......Love me.....Coz I'm a Convict...Pissing Out.......Yeh Pissing Out yo........Orgasmic......Yeahhhhhhhhh.....'

I'm not jealous of Akon or anything k. So Akon fans don't get me wrong. I still love him. Just wondering why he likes being a convict.