Koala In Sydney

Well it has been a while isn't it? After my exams I was thinking of a perfect place to chill and I thought, why not the big city Sydney? So off I flew together with my uncle johnny and aunty nicole on the 5th of December. You all must be thinking 'wah koala so rich can go Sydney wei' but before you all do any thinking, my flight ticket is only 89 bucks (one way) and I would be staying in my uncle's house all the time so not some fancy 5-star hotel shit.

I stayed there for a whooping 6 days and I must say, it was quite a good vacation. The city is big compared to small fry Adelaide and some of its suburb is already as big as Adelaide city. The main transport there is train and from the train station you could either take the bus or walk to your destination. My uncle's house is located at Turramara (pronounced Tharamara- bloody hard to pronounce names is what Sydney is famous for) and it's a good 40 minutes (30 minutes by train to the Townshall station)drive from the city. Upon arrivin g Sydney, my uncle was kind enough to give Uncle Johnny and me to his gigantic crib (aunty nicole stayed with her parents in a hotel) and due to massive traffic jam, it was an hour and a half drive to his place. By the way my uncle has this big dog (a lassie dog) which I very much fear because of the way it kept looking at my sausage and as much as I know how much it would like to yank it off it wouldn't be funny if my manhood ended then.

We put our bags down and off we went to visit the city. On th e first day, we met up with aunty nicole and her parents (plus brother john) for lunch at BBQ king. Food wasn't that fantastic but more the less edible (they serve hong kong style food). Being new to Sydney, we didn't know where the good places are so we used our very reliable city map and visited south of the city. There was this giant mall which looked very much alike Sungai Wang called Market City filled with shops with funny chinese names. It was there when I realize the greatest flaw in the Transformers movie- where the hell are the robot's genitals? Behold the true picture of Megatron, unleashing his mightiest weapon ever.

Fear me Optimus Prime!

There is IGA there too which sold chinese products and it was very much asian-like. There I saw some of the most dodgy brand ever. Apparently Planta replaced their model with a fat malay boy to please some people.

The New Age Planta

We ended our first day with dinner at aunty nicole's place where her mom cooked up a great dinner and off we went home riding the train.

Fiddy cent's home

On the second day, johnny's old school buddies- Duck and Watermelon took us on a tour around the city.

The Harbour Bridge

We went to the Rocks where we stopped for a great lunch at Pancakes on the Rocks (You must try the Beef and Pork ribs. The pancakes are also not too bad but pancakes are pancakes, can't really change the taste). After lunch, we then visited Circular Quay (pronounced circular key) and upon seeing the sea, I felt my bladder vibrating. SO folks if you have to go, you have to go.

They caught me at a bad time

The Opera House

Once I relieve myself, we then walked to the Opera House because the water taxi cost too much and you would have to dress in purple to ride them.

The Purple Groove

The Opera House well.... is an Opera House. Nothing much to describe there.

The Opera House (From left: Aunty Nicole, Uncle Johnny, Watermelon, Duck)

Wanna peek? Only 1 dollar

For dinner we went to Ramen Kan at China Town (Dixon Street) which serve pretty good japanese cuisine at a reasonable price (say below 10 bucks). After eating we realized it was way past the time for the last train and this forced me and uncle johnny to overnight at nicole's place.

The next morning, nicole and family has to drive to Canberra, leaving uncle johnny and me in the Sydney. Feeling bored, we visited the Aquarium and Wildlife Park at Darling Harbour and only paid 18 bucks for both the ticket since we had a buy one get one free voucher given by my aunty.

Johnny and me at the Darling Harbour

The Aquarium was pretty good and has a diverse range of fishes. Each time I see the fishes I always wonder if they are edible especially those big ass ones. Oh and I also learned how sea urchins defecate by asking a lady at the touch pool. The Wildlife Park was apparently pretty new and has only a few kinds of animals (more to those native animals like koalas, kangaroos, possum). Over there I learned how snakes mated and that you would have to probe their private parts to find their genitals. Man I can't believe I learned so much in one day. I wanted to tickle the koalas' ass but you would have to pay to touch them. The day ended with uncle bringing us to fine dining at Olio (it was at North Sydney I think) and a movie- The Hills Have Eyes 2 ( it's about ugly guys raping pretty girls) at home.

On Saturday, uncle brought us to Manly beach (initially the plan was Blue Mountain but we felt it was sort of like an old man's trip and there wouldn't be babes up there). It was a pretty good beach with pretty babes running left and right and muscular man with tight trunks (Uncle said Bondi was good too but we didn't have time to visit both). It was pretty difficult for me to babe watch since I didn't have sunnies and worse still I had to squint due to the sun shinning right in my face, making me look like a pervert which I know most of you know I'm not.

At Manly

Me and my uncle at Manly


Climbing Mountains

Nothing much happened after the beach trip I guess if my memory serves me well because Big Man Foo arrived in Sydney too late (we were supposed to have dinner with him).

Sunday was pretty chilling since we decided to stay in and just well, chill. Uncle brought us to some Malaysian restaurant for lunch which we planned to treat him but failed miserably because he was just too quick. In the afternoon we went to DFO where we bought a few cheap clothes (Fucuk or FCUK t-shirt for only 10 bucks etc). DFO or Direct Factory Outlet is according to Johnny a place where you can get cheap clothes because the fashion arrives a little late (behind by one fashion). At night uncle and aunty had to attend some dinner so we were left at home to chill. We watched a movie (The Mimic- some giant bug show) and ate pizza for dinner.

My kind of desert

On Monday Johnny wanted to go back to Pancakes on the Rocks to savour the ribs once more which we did and did a little bit more shopping at George Street. We also bought Krispy Kreme back for my uncle and his family and wine (red wine and port) as a token of gratitude. We flew back the next day and thus marked the end of our Sydney Trip.

Krispy Kreme on George Street near Wynerd Station

PS. Thanks uncle and aunty for the great time. On a side note, I have to say Sydney has a lot of BAR (Bastards on Road) and rude China Apeks so those of you who want to visit Sydney, keep this in mind and don't mind those bitches. This is the Koala wishing you all a very good holiday and remember to play safe- use Durex.